February the 14th

(I tried my best to forget about this draft. I know it's WAY passed Valentine's Day, but I decided to give you strangers this! Just to let you know how I felt that terrible..TERRIBLE day. Here it is!)
*points a gun at Valentine's Day* WHY MUST YOU EXIST?! Valentine's Day is a day where all the couples give each other gifts while the amount of loners overpopulate. I am not afraid to say I'm a loner, I am just..sad about it. I think it is special for a girl to get something for Valentine's Day. I just didn't think it was possible for me to simply, not hate, but loathe February 14th. Each year, I desperately wait for my prince charming, then suddenly realize he won't show up. I causually run to my room, and play "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen, while I eat shitloads of candy.
Yeah..sounds like a normal day to me! Let me go over on what I got for Valentine's Day: 1. A Gram that I bought for myself, from Blandon Urie..sounds like a hot dude. Stupid Teachers. *Brendon <3
2. A Candy from this guy.you know what I said? "Ooh..uhm...Thanks!" 3.A Case of the 'Depressed Zombie' blues. and Finally 4.The Loss of My Voice.
But, I shouldn't be sad. Nobody should. Maybe we could all be loners together? I would love that.
Happy (Late) Valentine's Day Strangers!
                                                                Love,
                                                                          A
(P.S. If Any  Male Loners are reading my blog,
     "Hey..How you doing? Happy Valentine's Day. How would you like to come to my house so you could..you know..Channing my Tatum? hahaha Just Kidding! We could just cuddle and watch TV!"
                                                        

A Phone Call Without A Ring.

All I wanted was a phone call, where you would say sorry. Where I would forgive you, and everything would be okay again. Maybe even a long text that you took your own time typing, so I can read it over and over again. All I wanted was a least a hug, or at least something to make me smile like I used to. I wanted something as straight-forwarding and idealistic as what I gave to you.
Especially that damn letter I had the guts to write to you. You promised you would be there for me, no matter what, that I would be the "little sister" you've always wanted...I guess there are promises you can never seem to keep, right?
All I wanted was a phone call, where we would talk for hours and hours about anything that came to our minds. Maybe even a knock on my door, where you would stop by and just say hi.  I dreamt where you would come back and realize you're hurting me. Then, my dream would be over and I would see you living your own world with everyone in it but me. I don't see why you called that guy "the enemy" ever since he dumped me, when you hang out with him every day. You didn't want anyone to hurt me and make my life miserable. Look at you now. Yet, you get mad at me for hanging out with her. Why do you? She was my friend way before you two got closer. Besides, the closer me and her get, the more I began to realize why ever she stopped having feelings for you.
All I needed was a fucking phone call, or possible anything at all! Where I can hear your voice again, where I can be happy again...As you can see, I haven't gotten anything except pain and the lack of your passionate charm. I gave you a shoulder to cry on, I was your guardian angel sent to help you but never me. All I needed was a phone call, but I was too shy. So now, I'm only giving you a reason to say goodbye.
Here I am, screaming at the world, crying on the floor, waiting for my phone to ring. Waiting for your name to show up the screen, where my eyes will brighten, Even if the phone's volume is up full blast, I never hear a ring. All I hear are knocks on my door, from some of my friends, even my siblings. They keep saying you're never going to show up, that you're never going to call. I made a vow that the only thing I would listen to is the ring of the call that will never show up.
But, one day you'll be the one waiting for my call. You will be begging for me to come back to your life. One Day I will forget about you. One Day.
It just makes me feel like shit when I realize today isn't the day. It will be very soon, I just have to wait. That's it.
                                                                   Love,
                                                                            A.
          

Fly or Run Away With Me? You Choose.

I never expected to have two boys to try their best to win my heart..at the same time. Zayum.
I would like to introduce you to two new 'superheroes' in my life, Superman and Kick-Ass.
Superman is a ultimate sweetheart, he's too cool to be labeled as "average." The reason why he is called Superman is because one time we had a fight, where he stated that Krypton and Superman is real..Yeah, he isn't the brightest crayon in the box.  But, he is really kind and you never know when he will sweep you off of your feet with his charm.
Then, there is Kick-Ass. Oh my, this boy is..impeccable. He can make me smile in a second, no matter if he is making a joke or just simply breathing. I liked him first, but I would never think I would have a chance with him.  I just thought of myself to him as " the girl that I copy off from when I'm not being a smart-ass. I also pretend to be stupid in a surprisingly cute way." It wasn't until, out of everyone, Superman told me that Kick-Ass liked me. I was so happy, but it just felt too weird to be true. I realized that K-A had a different perspective in life, but I didn't seem to mind. So, K-A began to be on my mind 24/7. Until..I found out that Superman started to have this attraction with me. I'm not "in love with" any of them. I don't believe in that at this moment, not yet.
If I was with Superman, he would be so caring, flying away with me by his side to watch the world go by.  If I was with Kick-Ass, he wouldn't fly. He wouldn't have laser vision. But, he would have his smile, and that could melt my heart instantly. My choice between them is only one answer: "No matter if he flies or runs, I will choose the one who comes to me first."
Simple As That.
                                           Love,
                                                    A.

Q&'A' #2

 Hey Strangers!! It's that time again, where I will be asking a bunch of questions out of a mix of my amusement and my writer's block. Let's get started!
1. What are two things you are really bad at doing?
Drawing and Twerking.
2."I love you if..?"
you either 1.  you love me back, 2. you are Brendon Urie, 3.you listen to P!ATD, 4.you like to watch Netflix and do random crap. Or simply, all of the above.
3.What do you hate most about school? hahaha EVERYTHING.
4.What is the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to you? "I'm breaking up with you." ...just kidding, "You are so ugly. The world would be better off without you." Now that I think about it, the first one actually sounds WAY better than the other one.
5.3 guys I find hot? 1.Brendon Urie, 2.Channing Tatum (I wanna Channing all over your Tatum ;) ) and 3. Nash Grier.
6.Favorite Disney Princess?
       Cinderella.
7. Do you like where you are right now? ...Eh..No?
8.How do you picture yourself in 10 years? 10 years older. duh. I would be writing in my New York apartment while my imaginary boyfriend comes to visit me with a bouquet of roses.
9.Your favorite song at the moment?
 I Want to Break Free by Queen <3
Finally, 10. How was your Valentine's Day? ...I think that horrible topic deserves its own post. Expect that later. Well, I guess that's it. Want to ask me a question? Comment Down Below!
I will see you guys soon, Bye Strangers!
                                                                             Love,
                                                                                         A.

The Zombie Inside Of Me

This morning was really a complete blur. I just remember me running and vomiting  in the bathroom. I thought for a second that I needed a exorcist or something. I couldn't just be sick like that! But, I begin to realize the familiar feeling in my throat and my stressed-out mind. I wasn't dying or sick. I was just sick out of mind. Both of my disorders were coming back to haunt me and bite me in the butt.

They aren't that bad, I just get really affected by them. If I continue being like this, I will start to get used to it, as if it's how I live. Just like the living dead :my mind will turn into a ticking bomb ready to explode, and my numb body will get used to all the pain from everything including myself. Plus, the toilet will become my new best friend.

I have been a zombie  before, and it sucks. The agony brings you down until someday, you give up.

I don't want to be like that ever again, it just makes everything about my life even worse.  So, I decided to skip school today! I spent all day either 1.sleeping or 2...that's about it, just sleeping. I am already planning what I'm going to do when I get back to the realms of hell. I will causally expect everyone to miss me (Ha. I don't think so.). If they ever ask me why I was gone, I will just say I was sick. 

Not "Oh, I just got infected by a bulimic depressed zombie so I needed to be exorcised right away." 

Hm..now that I think about it, maybe I should say that. We will see.

Love,

A.

My Main Ally.

Let me tell you something about my main Ally.
 I am surprised I can actually explain Ally in words, she is..a wonderful, purdy, funny, and soooo kawaii. We go to each others houses alot, well mostly mine but we always seem to spend time with each other. We did meet in 4th grade, if it wasn't for Braceface. I forgot how me and her formed into...this!
Ever since, me and her have been close like sisters..in laws. I will explain that later. If I had a dollar for every single inside joke we have, I would be soo rich, I can buy my own panda that poops skittles and only eats shoes!( By the way Ally, who you gonna call?)
 Someday, we are going to travel to Tokyo and do as many things as possible there! We have been through a lot, and I don't know how I would be who I am right now without her. I lurv her. cx
I'm going to stop now, because I can go talking about her and I forever.  Well, I guess that's it.
Love,
A

Short Update from "A"

Hello Strangers!  I got bad news. My soul..sorry my laptop, got a virus and it's being fixed right now.
I know, it's so tragic. But, the show must go on slowly! I am using either my phone or another computer to post. I won't be writing that much but expect something! This won't be permanent (I hope), we will return to our regular awkward route.  My writer's block has been a roller coaster for the past few weeks, but I know it will be both a bumpy and a great ride. I'm sure I will think of something.
I always do, right? Well, I just wanted to tell you guys that so you wouldn't think I'm gonna be murdered or never come back somehow. I always come back. ALWAYS. Don't worry, your Queen of wallflowers will soon be sitting in her throne once again.
 See you later strangers, Stay Strong.  Love,
                                                                       A
P.S.  Ally  asked, " Hey A! I just wanted to ask if when you poop is it green?" ....Um..That is a really exotic question, Ally! Thanks darling!
(Check her blog out! http://newbeginningsoldmemoriesforme.blogspot.com/)  My answer is no but, it all depends on how you eat. If you have poop that looks like Shrek's butt, you need to go see a doctor or simply google it.

Q&'A' #1

Ok, So I have been wanting to do this for a long time! Every once in a while, I will do a Q&'A' (haha puns). I will be answering a bunch of random questions. So, Let's Get Started!
1. Do you wanna build a snowman?
...ANNA SHUT UP! Besides, I live in Texas...do I need to explain more?
2.How long was your longest relationship?
Um, 3 1/2 days? (And Counting! That sounds really embarrassing when I type it down.)
3.Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?
Cherry Garcia!
4.Last book that made you cry?
If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin.
5.If you had to describe your love life in one word, at this moment, what would it be? 
Lost.
6. Favorite Horror Movie?
Halloween (The 1978's version, not that Remake crap.)
7.How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Pretty much 24/7 !
8. Do you have a crush on someone?
 Yes?
9.Favorite Month?
OCTOBER!
And 10, Best superhero that describes you the most? Spider-man aka Peter Parker.
Because, he is a hot nerd. Not that I'm describing myself as a 'hot nerd'. ..
Well that's it! If you want to ask me anything, just comment down below!
Bye Strangers!
Love,
A

The Boy and His Bird. A Story by 'A'

There once a boy who kept a beautiful, rare bird in this metal cage.  He found her when she was in misery as he glanced at her wonderful, ashy white wings.She was unlike any other, but of course he never seemed to notice. He kept her in the cage, but he never fed her with care or love. She was trapped in his own little world, where it was all about him. She was kept there until she realized, "What is the point of having this boy keep her from being free, if I know this is what our relationship is described; I'm locked in vacancy of my own misery."  She wants to be free, but somehow at the same time, she feels like she can never fly without his guidance.  So, her empty heart decided to stay with the boy.
As the time goes by, the boy begins to move on and make the bird softly suffer. He starts to hurt her in any way possible. This causes her snow white wings, to grow darker like her soul. She knew she wasn't going to escape the cage cell while still being alive. Her mind was saying to forget him completely. But, her heart said to never let go. Although she never can explain her feelings towards him, she still stayed.
One day, he got tired of even caring for the precious bird. Her wings were already coal black. So, he opened the cage and slowly started to let her out. Her wings brighten as she started to fly out.
Then, all of a sudden, she felt a sharp pain on her right wing. The bird's right wing started turning into blood red. The boy stabbed her with a mixture of both his pain and his love. She started to slowly fall apart, as the boy threw and locked her back in the cage. The bird was trapped in his world once again.
Days gone by, as the bird watched him in agony. She knew that he would always be such a beautiful monster, with his goal in life to ruin her.  But, she also knew that someday, she will be able to fly away. Someday, she will be free.
                                                                  Love,
                                                                             A.

Nothing Really Matters To Everyone Else BUT Me.

As I take all these stupid exams, I began to wonder. Am I the only one in this society who cares about every single detail of everything surrounding me? Like how the lights only shine on one part of the gym bleachers? On how other people interact with the ones they like? How when your crush's pupils turn darker when he is talking to you, maybe proving he likes you back?

Wait...Am I the only one?  I really hope I'm not, then that would be weird. What's even weirder is that I sometimes stare into this random corner and black out for a second, that's just something I do in a daily basis. (So, to all the people that know me in real life: Don't be surprised when I'm staring at the ceiling or random people. That means I'm thinking. Which means, I really think a lot.)I guess no one really understands that they should be grateful their heart is still beating to this date. There is no need for them to be full of sorrow and sadness. (....Guilty.) Anyways, I like to stare at the little things in life, or perhaps, everything in this unusual world. Because...then what?  All of our lives will some day come to a complete end. I'm going to sound like a weirdo, (when do I don't?) but Everyone dies..unless they are Superman..I will explain that stupid story later. I think everything has a meaning, whether it's tragic or romantic. So, why don't you just look out into the world in a new perspective?  Try to think about why everyone is alive, and their meaning to be who they are.
If not, who will?
                                    
                      Oh Wait..Me! Haha, It's ok. I will get used to being the only one who thinks the whole universe matters. I always do, right?
                                                                    Love,
                                                                             A
                                                            

A Un-Happy Birthday To Me

(As I am reading this draft, I'm thinking "Damn...Eh I should post it anyways! It's not like anything is ever going to get better!" So...here it is Strangers. I guess...Enjoy?)

Well..today is great, isn't it? (As you can see I'm lying.)
Today is my birthday and I'm..I can't say anything..I'm done. All I wanted was cake and I got this. My very own horror movie, except I'm the victim and every living thing is trying to kill me.  (This was the moment when I literally burst my tears like Fireworks. It has happened before; when my emotions control my writing and prevent all these feelings from evolving  into words. I have experienced this many times, actually.) 
I guess you are asking this, "A, Why are you so sad on your birthday?" Well, I guess this is not the first time I have no fucking clue on what I am doing right now. So, I don't know. I don't know who caused me to return into "This."  I don't know why my friends are doing their best to make me happy, when I thought they would never like me. I don't know why my family never wondered if  I was just faking everything I said that was positive. I don't know why he never bothers to at least pretend he cares. That boy can never try to fix anyone but himself, that amazing, bastard.
Most importantly, I don't know what to do with myself. I never seem to do.  What exactly is my reason to live and be happy? To have someone  try to ruin me? To have someone make me feel pain by words, or by not saying anything to me? ..Well, I want to personally thank everyone who tries to do that to me, especially on my Birthday. Guess What? It really worked. Like Always Though, I don't like blaming anyone but myself. Even if a million people try to ruin me, I know deep down inside, the only person that is really destroying me, is myself of course.
Happy Birthday To Me,
A.