(As I am reading this draft, I'm thinking "Damn...Eh I should post it anyways! It's not like anything is ever going to get better!" So...here it is Strangers. I guess...Enjoy?)
Well..today is great, isn't it? (As you can see I'm lying.)
Today is my birthday and I'm..I can't say anything..I'm done. All I wanted was cake and I got this. My very own horror movie, except I'm the victim and every living thing is trying to kill me. (This was the moment when I literally burst my tears like Fireworks. It has happened before; when my emotions control my writing and prevent all these feelings from evolving into words. I have experienced this many times, actually.)
I guess you are asking this, "A, Why are you so sad on your birthday?" Well, I guess this is not the first time I have no fucking clue on what I am doing right now. So, I don't know. I don't know who caused me to return into "This." I don't know why my friends are doing their best to make me happy, when I thought they would never like me. I don't know why my family never wondered if I was just faking everything I said that was positive. I don't know why he never bothers to at least pretend he cares. That boy can never try to fix anyone but himself, that amazing, bastard.
Most importantly, I don't know what to do with myself. I never seem to do. What exactly is my reason to live and be happy? To have someone try to ruin me? To have someone make me feel pain by words, or by not saying anything to me? ..Well, I want to personally thank everyone who tries to do that to me, especially on my Birthday. Guess What? It really worked. Like Always Though, I don't like blaming anyone but myself. Even if a million people try to ruin me, I know deep down inside, the only person that is really destroying me, is myself of course.
Happy Birthday To Me,
A.
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