Why does everything seem like a blur all of a sudden? Like, somehow the world has triggered and gathered, into one huge,releasing ticking bomb, as if we never know when we are about to explode in ecstasy,leaving all what we desired left behind.
I'm Sick. Not just the sniffles or fever, or anything that will cause me to rest but still breathe. I'm also sick, the metaphor type of sick. I'm sick of everything, if that's what I mean. As I type, I can seem to feel my fingers tapping the words I need to spell. The loud, cold, air in my room doesn't seem to help, but keeps the feelings going. I'm numb, and sad, and melodramatic. I may be describing all these words, but I can never seem to figure out how I'm feeling right now. No one can.
Maybe it just bothers me that every single living person on the planet thinks life as just a funny little joke. It just takes them to actually live it so they can realize they might be wrong..Maybe I have just over-lived my life a little too much than I needed. Maybe, I just need to stop everything.
Someone I know was right, you know? I am apparently special than everyone else is. I used to be so easy to crack, all it takes is fulfilling the pain inside my soul. Now, to be completely honest, I'm insane. I don't know why people even interact with me, how they even cope with my inner insanity.
I also don't know why not just love hurts, but..everything has got to hurt in the end. People say that when we die, everything will be okay. What if those people were wrong? What if as we die, whether slow or fast, we realize that all we wanted, was something that we will never even have? What if we can never seem to get what we want in this terrible world?
I don't know what to do right now. I think I should personally change "A" into "Insane", considering I'm more of a monster than a shadow. I don't know if this "Insane" demon will ever go away. I may be breathing fine, but..I already seem dead. I just want someone to take all this pain away from me, but it's not even possible. You want to know why, Strangers? Because all everyone does to me, is destroy every good part of me in the end. I just can't never tell when the end will start.
Well..I guess you guys will think that I will see you all soon. It all just depends on if there will ever be a new post.
Bye. Love,
I don't know who the fuck I am anymore.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
Q&'A' #3 (Long Version)
Hai.
Well there comes a time when I answer a bunch of questions due to my lack of actually writing something for you guys..and that time is definitely yes. I will write something else tho.Anyways,Here we go!
(If any of you have any questions just let me know. :)This WILL be a lot so....just a warning. ENJOY.) Let's start with questions asked by my great friend "Espi". That's her nickname since she loves Matt Espinosa. Luv You Gurl <3 ;D
1.What do you mostly look forward in guys?
I'm not really picky *wink*, hahaI don't know. As long as he has trust, he ain't no player, and he loves me while I love him, we are all good.
2.What's your favorite topic to write about?
I have noticed as I write, that I always, and I mean ALWAYS, write about either love or tragedy..or both. So, I guess anything with tragedy and love?
3.Who inspires you to write stories?
I know this will probably sound deep, but absolutely any living or non-living thing in this universe inspires me to write my own perspective about..well, everything I want to write about.
Here are some from mah gurl Ally, I luv you although you abuse me lol.
4.What color is your poop?
What. the. hell. Um..Poop Color?
5.Do you pick your nose? Gurl what kind of questions are these?I used to when I was like younger, but I don't anymore.
6.Do you like candy? Yes.
7. Do you want candy? Yes.
8.Is this question gonna be on your blog? ...It is now :)
9.What inspired you to write? Look at 3.
10. What inspired you to create this blog? 2 Things. 1. Kalel's blog, omg yass. and 2. Basically all that shit that was going down at that time.
11. How would you describe your style? Umm..my style? jk, I have no idea. I guess really Hipster, Bohemian, I'm too Lazy, Style. You Decide xD.
Okay, well know is a bunch of questions I found/made up.
12.Dark, milk or white chocolate? Is that a trick question, can I choose all three? I love chocolate.
13.Favorite Lyrics Right Now? SURFBOARD...
14.Who was the last person you held hands with? The person from the last post, I think.
15.Are you easy to get along with? I think so, but I also think that's a good question for my friends.
16. Do you still talk to your first crush? Hahaha no.
17. Have you ever been high? Yeah, High On Life!! Just kidding, don't do drugs kids.
18. Do you have trust issues? Yes, and it sucks.
19.Who was the last person you cried in front of? Does the mirror's reflection count?
and Finally 20.Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes.
I guess that's it, I will see you all soon. Have a good day!
Love,
A.
Well there comes a time when I answer a bunch of questions due to my lack of actually writing something for you guys..and that time is definitely yes. I will write something else tho.Anyways,Here we go!
(If any of you have any questions just let me know. :)This WILL be a lot so....just a warning. ENJOY.) Let's start with questions asked by my great friend "Espi". That's her nickname since she loves Matt Espinosa. Luv You Gurl <3 ;D
1.What do you mostly look forward in guys?
I'm not really picky *wink*, hahaI don't know. As long as he has trust, he ain't no player, and he loves me while I love him, we are all good.
2.What's your favorite topic to write about?
I have noticed as I write, that I always, and I mean ALWAYS, write about either love or tragedy..or both. So, I guess anything with tragedy and love?
3.Who inspires you to write stories?
I know this will probably sound deep, but absolutely any living or non-living thing in this universe inspires me to write my own perspective about..well, everything I want to write about.
Here are some from mah gurl Ally, I luv you although you abuse me lol.
4.What color is your poop?
What. the. hell. Um..Poop Color?
5.Do you pick your nose? Gurl what kind of questions are these?I used to when I was like younger, but I don't anymore.
6.Do you like candy? Yes.
7. Do you want candy? Yes.
8.Is this question gonna be on your blog? ...It is now :)
9.What inspired you to write? Look at 3.
10. What inspired you to create this blog? 2 Things. 1. Kalel's blog, omg yass. and 2. Basically all that shit that was going down at that time.
11. How would you describe your style? Umm..my style? jk, I have no idea. I guess really Hipster, Bohemian, I'm too Lazy, Style. You Decide xD.
Okay, well know is a bunch of questions I found/made up.
12.Dark, milk or white chocolate? Is that a trick question, can I choose all three? I love chocolate.
13.Favorite Lyrics Right Now? SURFBOARD...
14.Who was the last person you held hands with? The person from the last post, I think.
15.Are you easy to get along with? I think so, but I also think that's a good question for my friends.
16. Do you still talk to your first crush? Hahaha no.
17. Have you ever been high? Yeah, High On Life!! Just kidding, don't do drugs kids.
18. Do you have trust issues? Yes, and it sucks.
19.Who was the last person you cried in front of? Does the mirror's reflection count?
and Finally 20.Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes.
I guess that's it, I will see you all soon. Have a good day!
Love,
A.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Forbidden Desire/I'm Back!
Have you ever wanted something or perhaps someone so bad but you knew that you can never have him, and when that someone leaves your over-pathetic life, you start to get sad even though he was never really yours? ....I guess since that was a LONG question, but my answer is a yes.
Hello Strangers, How have you been? I've been..good? I don't know, I'm still numb but I am alive.
Yass. Anyways, I have many ideas that is going to make this blog..even better than before. I am planning a bunch of things, so look forward to that soon. I just pray that my lazy side won't interfere with all of this, but don't you wallflowers worry, I will destroy that lazy ass monster.
Anyways, back to the question. I think this is just a crush, but ughhhh....why must it be that specific person? I was really surprised, but this person had never really interacted with me until now. If I knew him before, I think I would've had a chance to be with him and be happy. But, the only thing that creates a big barrier between me and that person is lies, posers, and well..the past. I just wish he didn't have a connection with someone I never ever will mention again in my entire life. It's simply impossible though, yet like mah idol Audrey Hepburn says, "Nothing Is Impossible. The word itself says 'I'm Possible'!" I just really, really can't help it. My "Ally" always says, The Heart Wants What
The Heart Wants. Thanks gurl, but I kind of wish that wasn't true. Oh well. :p
Well, I guess I'm off to the "real world" in order to seek ideas of pure, depressing, astonishing reality for this blog. I just want to thank everyone for reading and I hope to see you very soon.
I WILL BE BACK. I make a honest vow to make posts here or I will absolutely have my friends slap me in the face until I do.
Cross My Heart,
</3 Hope To Die. Bye!
Love,
A.
Hello Strangers, How have you been? I've been..good? I don't know, I'm still numb but I am alive.
Yass. Anyways, I have many ideas that is going to make this blog..even better than before. I am planning a bunch of things, so look forward to that soon. I just pray that my lazy side won't interfere with all of this, but don't you wallflowers worry, I will destroy that lazy ass monster.
Anyways, back to the question. I think this is just a crush, but ughhhh....why must it be that specific person? I was really surprised, but this person had never really interacted with me until now. If I knew him before, I think I would've had a chance to be with him and be happy. But, the only thing that creates a big barrier between me and that person is lies, posers, and well..the past. I just wish he didn't have a connection with someone I never ever will mention again in my entire life. It's simply impossible though, yet like mah idol Audrey Hepburn says, "Nothing Is Impossible. The word itself says 'I'm Possible'!" I just really, really can't help it. My "Ally" always says, The Heart Wants What
The Heart Wants. Thanks gurl, but I kind of wish that wasn't true. Oh well. :p
Well, I guess I'm off to the "real world" in order to seek ideas of pure, depressing, astonishing reality for this blog. I just want to thank everyone for reading and I hope to see you very soon.
I WILL BE BACK. I make a honest vow to make posts here or I will absolutely have my friends slap me in the face until I do.
Cross My Heart,
</3 Hope To Die. Bye!
Love,
A.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Evolving Into A Mutt (Letter)
Dear Puppy,
This is going to be sort of short and simple, I don't need to write you a lot.Well..let me start off by saying you are soo...ugh! You can't really make up your mind, can't you? You remind me of a piece of regular gum, sweet, then stale. You literally have no flavor, no confidence. I hope you go get spayed and neutered!I can't believe I even liked you once. One time you said that you weren't in love with me anymore, then you are crawling back to me?! Hell nah!
I am so getting tired of your overloading of nagging and negativity. All of this about "Nobody likes me", "I have no friends, ughhh" is getting annoying. (P.S. You actually have friends. I know that cause you probably talk to them about me. I'm not that stupid.) I'm sorry, but the truth hurts like hell. I guess that's it. This is the last of you in my blog, maybe even in the real world. Please don't expect me to talk to you or anything, you would be better off without me. I promise.
','
A.
This is going to be sort of short and simple, I don't need to write you a lot.Well..let me start off by saying you are soo...ugh! You can't really make up your mind, can't you? You remind me of a piece of regular gum, sweet, then stale. You literally have no flavor, no confidence. I hope you go get spayed and neutered!I can't believe I even liked you once. One time you said that you weren't in love with me anymore, then you are crawling back to me?! Hell nah!
I am so getting tired of your overloading of nagging and negativity. All of this about "Nobody likes me", "I have no friends, ughhh" is getting annoying. (P.S. You actually have friends. I know that cause you probably talk to them about me. I'm not that stupid.) I'm sorry, but the truth hurts like hell. I guess that's it. This is the last of you in my blog, maybe even in the real world. Please don't expect me to talk to you or anything, you would be better off without me. I promise.
','
A.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Pretend To Live
Just Do It. Lie. Forget.
Everywhere I go, there they are. Lying to move on and hurting other people to be even happier. They may think they are the greatest human beings in the world. But, no. They are cowards. Liars. Monsters.
Most of all, they are Pretenders.
The only good thing in life that they can do is pretend to be someone else, making someone happy until they crush their dreams. I am that someone.
They pretend to be my mom, my grandma,..my dad. I didn't think my dad would have to pretend not to be mine.
They pretend to be my friends, fading away day by day. I can already feel it.
They pretend to be my best friend, well..he's not doing a good job at it.
They pretend to be my true love, who would really do that to break someone's heart? I know who. Many of the heartbroken disguises themselves as strong. Unlike them, i never have a disguise. Wait, I actually do. It's very weak though, like a cacoon. Except, my butterfly will be dead once the cacoon opens.
Has it occured to anyone that everyone is not who they really are? You can talk to someone for a long time, but that person might not be what you think they are.
I don't know. Maybe I'm pretending. I'm pretending to be this bundle of joy in the real world. A happy, too fucking nice, girl.
Deep inside, I am..this. In case you are wondering, the reason why I'm 'A' is because..I rather hide the fact that I'm this Psycho here than in the real world. See? I'm a pretender. Everyone is. It just takes alot of guts to realize it..before you explode. How do I know? I did.
Love,
A.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
February the 14th
(I tried my best to forget about this draft. I know it's WAY passed Valentine's Day, but I decided to give you strangers this! Just to let you know how I felt that terrible..TERRIBLE day. Here it is!)
*points a gun at Valentine's Day* WHY MUST YOU EXIST?! Valentine's Day is a day where all the couples give each other gifts while the amount of loners overpopulate. I am not afraid to say I'm a loner, I am just..sad about it. I think it is special for a girl to get something for Valentine's Day. I just didn't think it was possible for me to simply, not hate, but loathe February 14th. Each year, I desperately wait for my prince charming, then suddenly realize he won't show up. I causually run to my room, and play "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen, while I eat shitloads of candy.
Yeah..sounds like a normal day to me! Let me go over on what I got for Valentine's Day: 1. A Gram that I bought for myself, from Blandon Urie..sounds like a hot dude. Stupid Teachers. *Brendon <3
2. A Candy from this guy.you know what I said? "Ooh..uhm...Thanks!" 3.A Case of the 'Depressed Zombie' blues. and Finally 4.The Loss of My Voice.
But, I shouldn't be sad. Nobody should. Maybe we could all be loners together? I would love that.
Happy (Late) Valentine's Day Strangers!
Love,
A
(P.S. If Any Male Loners are reading my blog,
"Hey..How you doing? Happy Valentine's Day. How would you like to come to my house so you could..you know..Channing my Tatum? hahaha Just Kidding! We could just cuddle and watch TV!"
*points a gun at Valentine's Day* WHY MUST YOU EXIST?! Valentine's Day is a day where all the couples give each other gifts while the amount of loners overpopulate. I am not afraid to say I'm a loner, I am just..sad about it. I think it is special for a girl to get something for Valentine's Day. I just didn't think it was possible for me to simply, not hate, but loathe February 14th. Each year, I desperately wait for my prince charming, then suddenly realize he won't show up. I causually run to my room, and play "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen, while I eat shitloads of candy.
Yeah..sounds like a normal day to me! Let me go over on what I got for Valentine's Day: 1. A Gram that I bought for myself, from Blandon Urie..sounds like a hot dude. Stupid Teachers. *Brendon <3
2. A Candy from this guy.you know what I said? "Ooh..uhm...Thanks!" 3.A Case of the 'Depressed Zombie' blues. and Finally 4.The Loss of My Voice.
But, I shouldn't be sad. Nobody should. Maybe we could all be loners together? I would love that.
Happy (Late) Valentine's Day Strangers!
Love,
A
(P.S. If Any Male Loners are reading my blog,
"Hey..How you doing? Happy Valentine's Day. How would you like to come to my house so you could..you know..Channing my Tatum? hahaha Just Kidding! We could just cuddle and watch TV!"
Friday, February 21, 2014
A Phone Call Without A Ring.
All I wanted was a phone call, where you would say sorry. Where I would forgive you, and everything would be okay again. Maybe even a long text that you took your own time typing, so I can read it over and over again. All I wanted was a least a hug, or at least something to make me smile like I used to. I wanted something as straight-forwarding and idealistic as what I gave to you.
Especially that damn letter I had the guts to write to you. You promised you would be there for me, no matter what, that I would be the "little sister" you've always wanted...I guess there are promises you can never seem to keep, right?
All I wanted was a phone call, where we would talk for hours and hours about anything that came to our minds. Maybe even a knock on my door, where you would stop by and just say hi. I dreamt where you would come back and realize you're hurting me. Then, my dream would be over and I would see you living your own world with everyone in it but me. I don't see why you called that guy "the enemy" ever since he dumped me, when you hang out with him every day. You didn't want anyone to hurt me and make my life miserable. Look at you now. Yet, you get mad at me for hanging out with her. Why do you? She was my friend way before you two got closer. Besides, the closer me and her get, the more I began to realize why ever she stopped having feelings for you.
All I needed was a fucking phone call, or possible anything at all! Where I can hear your voice again, where I can be happy again...As you can see, I haven't gotten anything except pain and the lack of your passionate charm. I gave you a shoulder to cry on, I was your guardian angel sent to help you but never me. All I needed was a phone call, but I was too shy. So now, I'm only giving you a reason to say goodbye.
Here I am, screaming at the world, crying on the floor, waiting for my phone to ring. Waiting for your name to show up the screen, where my eyes will brighten, Even if the phone's volume is up full blast, I never hear a ring. All I hear are knocks on my door, from some of my friends, even my siblings. They keep saying you're never going to show up, that you're never going to call. I made a vow that the only thing I would listen to is the ring of the call that will never show up.
But, one day you'll be the one waiting for my call. You will be begging for me to come back to your life. One Day I will forget about you. One Day.
It just makes me feel like shit when I realize today isn't the day. It will be very soon, I just have to wait. That's it.
Love,
A.
Especially that damn letter I had the guts to write to you. You promised you would be there for me, no matter what, that I would be the "little sister" you've always wanted...I guess there are promises you can never seem to keep, right?
All I wanted was a phone call, where we would talk for hours and hours about anything that came to our minds. Maybe even a knock on my door, where you would stop by and just say hi. I dreamt where you would come back and realize you're hurting me. Then, my dream would be over and I would see you living your own world with everyone in it but me. I don't see why you called that guy "the enemy" ever since he dumped me, when you hang out with him every day. You didn't want anyone to hurt me and make my life miserable. Look at you now. Yet, you get mad at me for hanging out with her. Why do you? She was my friend way before you two got closer. Besides, the closer me and her get, the more I began to realize why ever she stopped having feelings for you.
All I needed was a fucking phone call, or possible anything at all! Where I can hear your voice again, where I can be happy again...As you can see, I haven't gotten anything except pain and the lack of your passionate charm. I gave you a shoulder to cry on, I was your guardian angel sent to help you but never me. All I needed was a phone call, but I was too shy. So now, I'm only giving you a reason to say goodbye.
Here I am, screaming at the world, crying on the floor, waiting for my phone to ring. Waiting for your name to show up the screen, where my eyes will brighten, Even if the phone's volume is up full blast, I never hear a ring. All I hear are knocks on my door, from some of my friends, even my siblings. They keep saying you're never going to show up, that you're never going to call. I made a vow that the only thing I would listen to is the ring of the call that will never show up.
But, one day you'll be the one waiting for my call. You will be begging for me to come back to your life. One Day I will forget about you. One Day.
It just makes me feel like shit when I realize today isn't the day. It will be very soon, I just have to wait. That's it.
Love,
A.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Fly or Run Away With Me? You Choose.
I never expected to have two boys to try their best to win my heart..at the same time. Zayum.
I would like to introduce you to two new 'superheroes' in my life, Superman and Kick-Ass.
Superman is a ultimate sweetheart, he's too cool to be labeled as "average." The reason why he is called Superman is because one time we had a fight, where he stated that Krypton and Superman is real..Yeah, he isn't the brightest crayon in the box. But, he is really kind and you never know when he will sweep you off of your feet with his charm.
Then, there is Kick-Ass. Oh my, this boy is..impeccable. He can make me smile in a second, no matter if he is making a joke or just simply breathing. I liked him first, but I would never think I would have a chance with him. I just thought of myself to him as " the girl that I copy off from when I'm not being a smart-ass. I also pretend to be stupid in a surprisingly cute way." It wasn't until, out of everyone, Superman told me that Kick-Ass liked me. I was so happy, but it just felt too weird to be true. I realized that K-A had a different perspective in life, but I didn't seem to mind. So, K-A began to be on my mind 24/7. Until..I found out that Superman started to have this attraction with me. I'm not "in love with" any of them. I don't believe in that at this moment, not yet.
If I was with Superman, he would be so caring, flying away with me by his side to watch the world go by. If I was with Kick-Ass, he wouldn't fly. He wouldn't have laser vision. But, he would have his smile, and that could melt my heart instantly. My choice between them is only one answer: "No matter if he flies or runs, I will choose the one who comes to me first."
Simple As That.
Love,
A.
I would like to introduce you to two new 'superheroes' in my life, Superman and Kick-Ass.
Superman is a ultimate sweetheart, he's too cool to be labeled as "average." The reason why he is called Superman is because one time we had a fight, where he stated that Krypton and Superman is real..Yeah, he isn't the brightest crayon in the box. But, he is really kind and you never know when he will sweep you off of your feet with his charm.
Then, there is Kick-Ass. Oh my, this boy is..impeccable. He can make me smile in a second, no matter if he is making a joke or just simply breathing. I liked him first, but I would never think I would have a chance with him. I just thought of myself to him as " the girl that I copy off from when I'm not being a smart-ass. I also pretend to be stupid in a surprisingly cute way." It wasn't until, out of everyone, Superman told me that Kick-Ass liked me. I was so happy, but it just felt too weird to be true. I realized that K-A had a different perspective in life, but I didn't seem to mind. So, K-A began to be on my mind 24/7. Until..I found out that Superman started to have this attraction with me. I'm not "in love with" any of them. I don't believe in that at this moment, not yet.
If I was with Superman, he would be so caring, flying away with me by his side to watch the world go by. If I was with Kick-Ass, he wouldn't fly. He wouldn't have laser vision. But, he would have his smile, and that could melt my heart instantly. My choice between them is only one answer: "No matter if he flies or runs, I will choose the one who comes to me first."
Simple As That.
Love,
A.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Q&'A' #2
Hey Strangers!! It's that time again, where I will be asking a bunch of questions out of a mix of my amusement and my writer's block. Let's get started!
1. What are two things you are really bad at doing?
Drawing and Twerking.
2."I love you if..?"
you either 1. you love me back, 2. you are Brendon Urie, 3.you listen to P!ATD, 4.you like to watch Netflix and do random crap. Or simply, all of the above.
3.What do you hate most about school? hahaha EVERYTHING.
4.What is the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to you? "I'm breaking up with you." ...just kidding, "You are so ugly. The world would be better off without you." Now that I think about it, the first one actually sounds WAY better than the other one.
5.3 guys I find hot? 1.Brendon Urie, 2.Channing Tatum (I wanna Channing all over your Tatum ;) ) and 3. Nash Grier.
6.Favorite Disney Princess?
Cinderella.
7. Do you like where you are right now? ...Eh..No?
8.How do you picture yourself in 10 years? 10 years older. duh. I would be writing in my New York apartment while my imaginary boyfriend comes to visit me with a bouquet of roses.
9.Your favorite song at the moment?
I Want to Break Free by Queen <3
Finally, 10. How was your Valentine's Day? ...I think that horrible topic deserves its own post. Expect that later. Well, I guess that's it. Want to ask me a question? Comment Down Below!
I will see you guys soon, Bye Strangers!
Love,
A.
1. What are two things you are really bad at doing?
Drawing and Twerking.
2."I love you if..?"
you either 1. you love me back, 2. you are Brendon Urie, 3.you listen to P!ATD, 4.you like to watch Netflix and do random crap. Or simply, all of the above.
3.What do you hate most about school? hahaha EVERYTHING.
4.What is the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to you? "I'm breaking up with you." ...just kidding, "You are so ugly. The world would be better off without you." Now that I think about it, the first one actually sounds WAY better than the other one.
5.3 guys I find hot? 1.Brendon Urie, 2.Channing Tatum (I wanna Channing all over your Tatum ;) ) and 3. Nash Grier.
6.Favorite Disney Princess?
Cinderella.
7. Do you like where you are right now? ...Eh..No?
8.How do you picture yourself in 10 years? 10 years older. duh. I would be writing in my New York apartment while my imaginary boyfriend comes to visit me with a bouquet of roses.
9.Your favorite song at the moment?
I Want to Break Free by Queen <3
Finally, 10. How was your Valentine's Day? ...I think that horrible topic deserves its own post. Expect that later. Well, I guess that's it. Want to ask me a question? Comment Down Below!
I will see you guys soon, Bye Strangers!
Love,
A.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
The Zombie Inside Of Me
This morning was really a complete blur. I just remember me running and vomiting in the bathroom. I thought for a second that I needed a exorcist or something. I couldn't just be sick like that! But, I begin to realize the familiar feeling in my throat and my stressed-out mind. I wasn't dying or sick. I was just sick out of mind. Both of my disorders were coming back to haunt me and bite me in the butt.
They aren't that bad, I just get really affected by them. If I continue being like this, I will start to get used to it, as if it's how I live. Just like the living dead :my mind will turn into a ticking bomb ready to explode, and my numb body will get used to all the pain from everything including myself. Plus, the toilet will become my new best friend.
I have been a zombie before, and it sucks. The agony brings you down until someday, you give up.
I don't want to be like that ever again, it just makes everything about my life even worse. So, I decided to skip school today! I spent all day either 1.sleeping or 2...that's about it, just sleeping. I am already planning what I'm going to do when I get back to the realms of hell. I will causally expect everyone to miss me (Ha. I don't think so.). If they ever ask me why I was gone, I will just say I was sick.
Not "Oh, I just got infected by a bulimic depressed zombie so I needed to be exorcised right away."
Hm..now that I think about it, maybe I should say that. We will see.
Love,
A.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
My Main Ally.
Let me tell you something about my main Ally.
I am surprised I can actually explain Ally in words, she is..a wonderful, purdy, funny, and soooo kawaii. We go to each others houses alot, well mostly mine but we always seem to spend time with each other. We did meet in 4th grade, if it wasn't for Braceface. I forgot how me and her formed into...this!
Ever since, me and her have been close like sisters..in laws. I will explain that later. If I had a dollar for every single inside joke we have, I would be soo rich, I can buy my own panda that poops skittles and only eats shoes!( By the way Ally, who you gonna call?)
Someday, we are going to travel to Tokyo and do as many things as possible there! We have been through a lot, and I don't know how I would be who I am right now without her. I lurv her. cx
I'm going to stop now, because I can go talking about her and I forever. Well, I guess that's it.
Love,
A
I am surprised I can actually explain Ally in words, she is..a wonderful, purdy, funny, and soooo kawaii. We go to each others houses alot, well mostly mine but we always seem to spend time with each other. We did meet in 4th grade, if it wasn't for Braceface. I forgot how me and her formed into...this!
Ever since, me and her have been close like sisters..in laws. I will explain that later. If I had a dollar for every single inside joke we have, I would be soo rich, I can buy my own panda that poops skittles and only eats shoes!( By the way Ally, who you gonna call?)
Someday, we are going to travel to Tokyo and do as many things as possible there! We have been through a lot, and I don't know how I would be who I am right now without her. I lurv her. cx
I'm going to stop now, because I can go talking about her and I forever. Well, I guess that's it.
Love,
A
Short Update from "A"
Hello Strangers! I got bad news. My soul..sorry my laptop, got a virus and it's being fixed right now.
I know, it's so tragic. But, the show must go on slowly! I am using either my phone or another computer to post. I won't be writing that much but expect something! This won't be permanent (I hope), we will return to our regular awkward route. My writer's block has been a roller coaster for the past few weeks, but I know it will be both a bumpy and a great ride. I'm sure I will think of something.
I always do, right? Well, I just wanted to tell you guys that so you wouldn't think I'm gonna be murdered or never come back somehow. I always come back. ALWAYS. Don't worry, your Queen of wallflowers will soon be sitting in her throne once again.
See you later strangers, Stay Strong. Love,
A
P.S. Ally asked, " Hey A! I just wanted to ask if when you poop is it green?" ....Um..That is a really exotic question, Ally! Thanks darling!
(Check her blog out! http://newbeginningsoldmemoriesforme.blogspot.com/) My answer is no but, it all depends on how you eat. If you have poop that looks like Shrek's butt, you need to go see a doctor or simply google it.
I know, it's so tragic. But, the show must go on slowly! I am using either my phone or another computer to post. I won't be writing that much but expect something! This won't be permanent (I hope), we will return to our regular awkward route. My writer's block has been a roller coaster for the past few weeks, but I know it will be both a bumpy and a great ride. I'm sure I will think of something.
I always do, right? Well, I just wanted to tell you guys that so you wouldn't think I'm gonna be murdered or never come back somehow. I always come back. ALWAYS. Don't worry, your Queen of wallflowers will soon be sitting in her throne once again.
See you later strangers, Stay Strong. Love,
A
P.S. Ally asked, " Hey A! I just wanted to ask if when you poop is it green?" ....Um..That is a really exotic question, Ally! Thanks darling!
(Check her blog out! http://newbeginningsoldmemoriesforme.blogspot.com/) My answer is no but, it all depends on how you eat. If you have poop that looks like Shrek's butt, you need to go see a doctor or simply google it.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Q&'A' #1
Ok, So I have been wanting to do this for a long time! Every once in a while, I will do a Q&'A' (haha puns). I will be answering a bunch of random questions. So, Let's Get Started!
1. Do you wanna build a snowman?
...ANNA SHUT UP! Besides, I live in Texas...do I need to explain more?
2.How long was your longest relationship?
Um, 3 1/2 days? (And Counting! That sounds really embarrassing when I type it down.)
3.Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?
Cherry Garcia!
4.Last book that made you cry?
If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin.
5.If you had to describe your love life in one word, at this moment, what would it be?
Lost.
6. Favorite Horror Movie?
Halloween (The 1978's version, not that Remake crap.)
7.How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Pretty much 24/7 !
8. Do you have a crush on someone?
Yes?
9.Favorite Month?
OCTOBER!
And 10, Best superhero that describes you the most? Spider-man aka Peter Parker.
Because, he is a hot nerd. Not that I'm describing myself as a 'hot nerd'. ..
Well that's it! If you want to ask me anything, just comment down below!
Bye Strangers!
Love,
A
1. Do you wanna build a snowman?
...ANNA SHUT UP! Besides, I live in Texas...do I need to explain more?
2.How long was your longest relationship?
Um, 3 1/2 days? (And Counting! That sounds really embarrassing when I type it down.)
3.Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?
Cherry Garcia!
4.Last book that made you cry?
If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin.
5.If you had to describe your love life in one word, at this moment, what would it be?
Lost.
6. Favorite Horror Movie?
Halloween (The 1978's version, not that Remake crap.)
7.How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Pretty much 24/7 !
8. Do you have a crush on someone?
Yes?
9.Favorite Month?
OCTOBER!
And 10, Best superhero that describes you the most? Spider-man aka Peter Parker.
Because, he is a hot nerd. Not that I'm describing myself as a 'hot nerd'. ..
Well that's it! If you want to ask me anything, just comment down below!
Bye Strangers!
Love,
A
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
The Boy and His Bird. A Story by 'A'
There once a boy who kept a beautiful, rare bird in this metal cage. He found her when she was in misery as he glanced at her wonderful, ashy white wings.She was unlike any other, but of course he never seemed to notice. He kept her in the cage, but he never fed her with care or love. She was trapped in his own little world, where it was all about him. She was kept there until she realized, "What is the point of having this boy keep her from being free, if I know this is what our relationship is described; I'm locked in vacancy of my own misery." She wants to be free, but somehow at the same time, she feels like she can never fly without his guidance. So, her empty heart decided to stay with the boy.
As the time goes by, the boy begins to move on and make the bird softly suffer. He starts to hurt her in any way possible. This causes her snow white wings, to grow darker like her soul. She knew she wasn't going to escape the cage cell while still being alive. Her mind was saying to forget him completely. But, her heart said to never let go. Although she never can explain her feelings towards him, she still stayed.
One day, he got tired of even caring for the precious bird. Her wings were already coal black. So, he opened the cage and slowly started to let her out. Her wings brighten as she started to fly out.
Then, all of a sudden, she felt a sharp pain on her right wing. The bird's right wing started turning into blood red. The boy stabbed her with a mixture of both his pain and his love. She started to slowly fall apart, as the boy threw and locked her back in the cage. The bird was trapped in his world once again.
Days gone by, as the bird watched him in agony. She knew that he would always be such a beautiful monster, with his goal in life to ruin her. But, she also knew that someday, she will be able to fly away. Someday, she will be free.
Love,
A.
As the time goes by, the boy begins to move on and make the bird softly suffer. He starts to hurt her in any way possible. This causes her snow white wings, to grow darker like her soul. She knew she wasn't going to escape the cage cell while still being alive. Her mind was saying to forget him completely. But, her heart said to never let go. Although she never can explain her feelings towards him, she still stayed.
One day, he got tired of even caring for the precious bird. Her wings were already coal black. So, he opened the cage and slowly started to let her out. Her wings brighten as she started to fly out.
Then, all of a sudden, she felt a sharp pain on her right wing. The bird's right wing started turning into blood red. The boy stabbed her with a mixture of both his pain and his love. She started to slowly fall apart, as the boy threw and locked her back in the cage. The bird was trapped in his world once again.
Days gone by, as the bird watched him in agony. She knew that he would always be such a beautiful monster, with his goal in life to ruin her. But, she also knew that someday, she will be able to fly away. Someday, she will be free.
Love,
A.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Nothing Really Matters To Everyone Else BUT Me.
As I take all these stupid exams, I began to wonder. Am I the only one in this society who cares about every single detail of everything surrounding me? Like how the lights only shine on one part of the gym bleachers? On how other people interact with the ones they like? How when your crush's pupils turn darker when he is talking to you, maybe proving he likes you back?
Wait...Am I the only one? I really hope I'm not, then that would be weird. What's even weirder is that I sometimes stare into this random corner and black out for a second, that's just something I do in a daily basis. (So, to all the people that know me in real life: Don't be surprised when I'm staring at the ceiling or random people. That means I'm thinking. Which means, I really think a lot.)I guess no one really understands that they should be grateful their heart is still beating to this date. There is no need for them to be full of sorrow and sadness. (....Guilty.) Anyways, I like to stare at the little things in life, or perhaps, everything in this unusual world. Because...then what? All of our lives will some day come to a complete end. I'm going to sound like a weirdo, (when do I don't?) but Everyone dies..unless they are Superman..I will explain that stupid story later. I think everything has a meaning, whether it's tragic or romantic. So, why don't you just look out into the world in a new perspective? Try to think about why everyone is alive, and their meaning to be who they are.
If not, who will?
Oh Wait..Me! Haha, It's ok. I will get used to being the only one who thinks the whole universe matters. I always do, right?
Love,
A
Wait...Am I the only one? I really hope I'm not, then that would be weird. What's even weirder is that I sometimes stare into this random corner and black out for a second, that's just something I do in a daily basis. (So, to all the people that know me in real life: Don't be surprised when I'm staring at the ceiling or random people. That means I'm thinking. Which means, I really think a lot.)I guess no one really understands that they should be grateful their heart is still beating to this date. There is no need for them to be full of sorrow and sadness. (....Guilty.) Anyways, I like to stare at the little things in life, or perhaps, everything in this unusual world. Because...then what? All of our lives will some day come to a complete end. I'm going to sound like a weirdo, (when do I don't?) but Everyone dies..unless they are Superman..I will explain that stupid story later. I think everything has a meaning, whether it's tragic or romantic. So, why don't you just look out into the world in a new perspective? Try to think about why everyone is alive, and their meaning to be who they are.
If not, who will?
Oh Wait..Me! Haha, It's ok. I will get used to being the only one who thinks the whole universe matters. I always do, right?
Love,
A
Monday, February 3, 2014
A Un-Happy Birthday To Me
(As I am reading this draft, I'm thinking "Damn...Eh I should post it anyways! It's not like anything is ever going to get better!" So...here it is Strangers. I guess...Enjoy?)
Well..today is great, isn't it? (As you can see I'm lying.)
Today is my birthday and I'm..I can't say anything..I'm done. All I wanted was cake and I got this. My very own horror movie, except I'm the victim and every living thing is trying to kill me. (This was the moment when I literally burst my tears like Fireworks. It has happened before; when my emotions control my writing and prevent all these feelings from evolving into words. I have experienced this many times, actually.)
I guess you are asking this, "A, Why are you so sad on your birthday?" Well, I guess this is not the first time I have no fucking clue on what I am doing right now. So, I don't know. I don't know who caused me to return into "This." I don't know why my friends are doing their best to make me happy, when I thought they would never like me. I don't know why my family never wondered if I was just faking everything I said that was positive. I don't know why he never bothers to at least pretend he cares. That boy can never try to fix anyone but himself, that amazing, bastard.
Most importantly, I don't know what to do with myself. I never seem to do. What exactly is my reason to live and be happy? To have someone try to ruin me? To have someone make me feel pain by words, or by not saying anything to me? ..Well, I want to personally thank everyone who tries to do that to me, especially on my Birthday. Guess What? It really worked. Like Always Though, I don't like blaming anyone but myself. Even if a million people try to ruin me, I know deep down inside, the only person that is really destroying me, is myself of course.
Happy Birthday To Me,
A.
Well..today is great, isn't it? (As you can see I'm lying.)
Today is my birthday and I'm..I can't say anything..I'm done. All I wanted was cake and I got this. My very own horror movie, except I'm the victim and every living thing is trying to kill me. (This was the moment when I literally burst my tears like Fireworks. It has happened before; when my emotions control my writing and prevent all these feelings from evolving into words. I have experienced this many times, actually.)
I guess you are asking this, "A, Why are you so sad on your birthday?" Well, I guess this is not the first time I have no fucking clue on what I am doing right now. So, I don't know. I don't know who caused me to return into "This." I don't know why my friends are doing their best to make me happy, when I thought they would never like me. I don't know why my family never wondered if I was just faking everything I said that was positive. I don't know why he never bothers to at least pretend he cares. That boy can never try to fix anyone but himself, that amazing, bastard.
Most importantly, I don't know what to do with myself. I never seem to do. What exactly is my reason to live and be happy? To have someone try to ruin me? To have someone make me feel pain by words, or by not saying anything to me? ..Well, I want to personally thank everyone who tries to do that to me, especially on my Birthday. Guess What? It really worked. Like Always Though, I don't like blaming anyone but myself. Even if a million people try to ruin me, I know deep down inside, the only person that is really destroying me, is myself of course.
Happy Birthday To Me,
A.
Monday, January 27, 2014
More Than Words
Crowded. That's how I describe the entire room.
Corner. That's where I was, as the light softly gleams my hair and my hand grasps the end of my jacket awkwardly.
Carefree. That's how everyone else felt as they continued their standard conversation. Then there was me....isolated,alone. I could actually think of a lot more words, but they all seemed similar for how I felt at that exact moment , I still do actually.
Different. That is what my family calls me ,as if they were my real family.
Special, my teacher calls me that due to my lack of speaking in class..or anywhere.
Freak, I am always called that, pratically anywhere.
Beautiful. He called me that last year, and it was the only time someone called me that.
Lied. He did that.
Shattered. He did that to my heart. I can still feel the pieces re-attaching together slowly..until it comes to a Stop when I see him with her. Why must she be so...what's the word..better?
Always better than me, everyone is. I guess his motto is: "New Year, New Girl."
Changing. Why is everyone doing that now? It's tragic since sadly I'm still the same weirdo.
Except..I don't know who I really am. Who I was meant to be, who I want to be.
I guess that will remain only one word. UNKNOWN.
Love,
A
Corner. That's where I was, as the light softly gleams my hair and my hand grasps the end of my jacket awkwardly.
Carefree. That's how everyone else felt as they continued their standard conversation. Then there was me....isolated,alone. I could actually think of a lot more words, but they all seemed similar for how I felt at that exact moment , I still do actually.
Different. That is what my family calls me ,as if they were my real family.
Special, my teacher calls me that due to my lack of speaking in class..or anywhere.
Freak, I am always called that, pratically anywhere.
Beautiful. He called me that last year, and it was the only time someone called me that.
Lied. He did that.
Shattered. He did that to my heart. I can still feel the pieces re-attaching together slowly..until it comes to a Stop when I see him with her. Why must she be so...what's the word..better?
Always better than me, everyone is. I guess his motto is: "New Year, New Girl."
Changing. Why is everyone doing that now? It's tragic since sadly I'm still the same weirdo.
Except..I don't know who I really am. Who I was meant to be, who I want to be.
I guess that will remain only one word. UNKNOWN.
Love,
A
Sunday, January 26, 2014
A Poem I Found #2
I am not.
Stop telling mehow beautiful I am
and how cute
my dimples are.
Stop saying that I
am such a funny girl.
Beautiful girls
don't stand alone
at parties
or spend Friday nights
alone in the kitchen.
Funny girls don't
lock themselves
away;
to cry.
-Josephin August
Bringing Me Down
(I was actually going to write a lovey dovey happy story but someone had to ruin it.I don't know if the person I am writing to has actually seen this blog. If you have, Congrats! At least you did something you could do on your own.)
I am literally tired of this, I'm tired of everything.! ...Why do I have to be so nice to everyone? It is a gift, but a curse. I actually really like to do kind things to people, but when you expect me to do things I am 110% percent uncomfortable doing..just no. This person has a habit of bringing people down. What he doesn't know, (Yes, It's a Guy. He has never been mentioned in this blog though. I never wanted to write about this dude but for what he is doing to me..He deserves it.) is that he is hurting me the most.
He is just 'too busy' realizing it. So, he is thinking that "Oh I can hang out with my best friend's ex but she can't hang out mine? It doesn't matter, they were never really dating!" "I'm going to forget about my friend, I'm sure she will be okay! You know what? I'm going to forget everything that ever happened between us!" "I am going to be the one hurting her and never notice it!" .....
If he doesn't think that is what he is doing, well it's actually how I feel. Doesn't he know what I have been through? Why can't I be the one who gets the help? I guess I'm more "helpless" than "helpful".
Yeah, I get that he has been through a tough time. But, COME ON! He really has to understand what he is doing to people. I am going to admit something so don't judge: I actually thought I was "special" to him. I'm going to give you a minute to pause and laugh....................................................................
But, He actually has a lot of "special" friends. I think I'm just going to be one less person he will ever care about. I remember where he said that we will still be friends in the beginning in the school year.
Well, look at him! Hurting me so much and not noticing!
He may think that all these other people are bringing me down, but he will be surprised that person is him. I actually hope he isn't the only one. But like always, I seem to get my hopes up.
Love,
A
(P.S. I still have no idea if he has ever seen the blog. Let me say this: If he was really a good friend of mine, he would never ever do anything to me. Also if he was my friend, he would understand what I'm saying and apologize before my nightmare of falling apart becomes a complete reality.)
I am literally tired of this, I'm tired of everything.! ...Why do I have to be so nice to everyone? It is a gift, but a curse. I actually really like to do kind things to people, but when you expect me to do things I am 110% percent uncomfortable doing..just no. This person has a habit of bringing people down. What he doesn't know, (Yes, It's a Guy. He has never been mentioned in this blog though. I never wanted to write about this dude but for what he is doing to me..He deserves it.) is that he is hurting me the most.
He is just 'too busy' realizing it. So, he is thinking that "Oh I can hang out with my best friend's ex but she can't hang out mine? It doesn't matter, they were never really dating!" "I'm going to forget about my friend, I'm sure she will be okay! You know what? I'm going to forget everything that ever happened between us!" "I am going to be the one hurting her and never notice it!" .....
If he doesn't think that is what he is doing, well it's actually how I feel. Doesn't he know what I have been through? Why can't I be the one who gets the help? I guess I'm more "helpless" than "helpful".
Yeah, I get that he has been through a tough time. But, COME ON! He really has to understand what he is doing to people. I am going to admit something so don't judge: I actually thought I was "special" to him. I'm going to give you a minute to pause and laugh....................................................................
But, He actually has a lot of "special" friends. I think I'm just going to be one less person he will ever care about. I remember where he said that we will still be friends in the beginning in the school year.
Well, look at him! Hurting me so much and not noticing!
He may think that all these other people are bringing me down, but he will be surprised that person is him. I actually hope he isn't the only one. But like always, I seem to get my hopes up.
Love,
A
(P.S. I still have no idea if he has ever seen the blog. Let me say this: If he was really a good friend of mine, he would never ever do anything to me. Also if he was my friend, he would understand what I'm saying and apologize before my nightmare of falling apart becomes a complete reality.)
Friday, January 10, 2014
A Unwanted Miracle
I don't know what's going on with me right now. On Thursday at school something..happened. I can't even say it to anyone because I promised I wouldn't. As I went home, I couldn't get it out of my head. It was not just anything, it had to do with my past. My entire love history had just boosted up and fell apart at that exact moment. So, I tried to fall asleep. But, the dream was rather odd and it helped me understand that..Love is pain. But, no matter who's heart gets broken once again,everyone will do love again and again. In my dream, I was in a dark room and all I can hear was all of the things 'that person' told me on Thursday echoing.
"I still want to talk to you." "Don't think I forgot about you." "I want to keep this between us."
I couldn't tell whether I was happy about that or not. I wanted it to be over, I didn't want me and 'that person's relationship/friendship to even exist! Then, this person turned on the lights and said that she was my guardian angel. (Although she looked like someone from a 80s movie, perhaps from the Breakfast Club movie.)
Here are a few things she said. " What is going on with you? Stop thinking about that fag! Remember the things he did to you, he left you! So, now he wants to be your 'friend'. If he really cares for you, he would actually talk to you in public. Now listen, I knew you wanted this to happen a LONG time ago. It's 2014!! You may not know him that well, but he doesn't fucking know you! Just ignore him, it will do you good. So keep your head high and forget all those people who tried to hurt you. They aren't worth it."
To my surprise, she was right. I don't need anyone right now. I can live on my own, just like before all this shit happened. I'm okay.
Love,
A <3
(Hi Strangers! If any of you want to ask me anything or have any suggestions on what I should do, comment down below! I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful day! Stay Strong!)
"I still want to talk to you." "Don't think I forgot about you." "I want to keep this between us."
I couldn't tell whether I was happy about that or not. I wanted it to be over, I didn't want me and 'that person's relationship/friendship to even exist! Then, this person turned on the lights and said that she was my guardian angel. (Although she looked like someone from a 80s movie, perhaps from the Breakfast Club movie.)
Here are a few things she said. " What is going on with you? Stop thinking about that fag! Remember the things he did to you, he left you! So, now he wants to be your 'friend'. If he really cares for you, he would actually talk to you in public. Now listen, I knew you wanted this to happen a LONG time ago. It's 2014!! You may not know him that well, but he doesn't fucking know you! Just ignore him, it will do you good. So keep your head high and forget all those people who tried to hurt you. They aren't worth it."
To my surprise, she was right. I don't need anyone right now. I can live on my own, just like before all this shit happened. I'm okay.
Love,
A <3
(Hi Strangers! If any of you want to ask me anything or have any suggestions on what I should do, comment down below! I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful day! Stay Strong!)
Monday, January 6, 2014
Mr.Wish
Ok, Well here goes yet another story about a boy. I met him when I was helping my aunt and uncle move into this brand new house. I was walking out the U-Haul but suddenly I tripped and fell in this backyard, almost breaking my foot. The sun turned into shade when this..amazing guy who came to save me from my over complicated life..and my fall. I'm calling him Mr.Wish because he gave me this wish bone necklace although I first thought it was a horse shoe. Anyways, we were very close and he was perfect as if that word actually existed. It was wonderful.
Then, I came to visit a few weeks later. I was at his house and we had a really great time. I knew that he liked me and I liked him too. (See how I wrote 'liked', as in the past.) Anyways, he admitted his feelings and I said that I never knew that I would meet my 'Prince'. We looked like we were about to kiss....and we did. In that moment, it hit me. It has been a long time since I was that happy. It felt different, but I liked it ( 'liked' = past). I was picturing on how it would be when we were together. But, good things never last that long.
Shit happened during Christmas time. He said he wasn't ready to date. That wasn't the first time I heard that, but I realized that I wasn't ready either. At all. I think he was lying to me, but I guess I will never know. It is slightly impossible to find your true love at this moment. I mean, you never even know if it's the right person. Nobody knows anything these days. At least I somehow found a New Year Resolution: I want to stop getting attached to people. I know that's going to be difficult but I will survive.
Love,
A
Then, I came to visit a few weeks later. I was at his house and we had a really great time. I knew that he liked me and I liked him too. (See how I wrote 'liked', as in the past.) Anyways, he admitted his feelings and I said that I never knew that I would meet my 'Prince'. We looked like we were about to kiss....and we did. In that moment, it hit me. It has been a long time since I was that happy. It felt different, but I liked it ( 'liked' = past). I was picturing on how it would be when we were together. But, good things never last that long.
Shit happened during Christmas time. He said he wasn't ready to date. That wasn't the first time I heard that, but I realized that I wasn't ready either. At all. I think he was lying to me, but I guess I will never know. It is slightly impossible to find your true love at this moment. I mean, you never even know if it's the right person. Nobody knows anything these days. At least I somehow found a New Year Resolution: I want to stop getting attached to people. I know that's going to be difficult but I will survive.
Love,
A
Sunday, January 5, 2014
5 Random Facts About Me and..Stuff
Hi Strangers! I decided to do 5 random facts about me because 1. I thought it would be fun, and 2. I have nothing else to write or do. So, Let's get started!!
1. The name of this blog "Bulletproof heart break" is inspired by two amazing songs: Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil and Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance. I LOVE those bands so much! I'm a fan of all types of music but no matter what happens, MCR and PTV will be there for me.
2. The title "When you grow up, your heart dies" is a classic line from my favorite movie of all time, The Breakfast Club. I will never get tired of this film, no matter what! This is one of the things that cheers me up. Plus, the ending song is literally the theme song of my unfortunate life.
3. As you may read some of my previous posts, you will probably know this already. I am overly attached to Brendon Urie, the lead singer of Panic! At The Disco. I would give up anything to meet him. Although he is married, He will forever be my Husband. I LOVE HIM!
4. I don't think I want to be with anyone this year. I like the whole 'happily ever after' concept, I just rather be alone than broken,depressed,dumped, you name it!
And...
5. I am going to admit that I made TONS of mistakes that has changed everything . Everything starts changing once in a while. But you know what? I don't regret anything. So here's a big Fuck You to Life!
I just felt like doing this, I have no idea why though.. I'm going to continue doing my usual awkward stories.
Love,
A <3
1. The name of this blog "Bulletproof heart break" is inspired by two amazing songs: Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil and Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance. I LOVE those bands so much! I'm a fan of all types of music but no matter what happens, MCR and PTV will be there for me.
2. The title "When you grow up, your heart dies" is a classic line from my favorite movie of all time, The Breakfast Club. I will never get tired of this film, no matter what! This is one of the things that cheers me up. Plus, the ending song is literally the theme song of my unfortunate life.
3. As you may read some of my previous posts, you will probably know this already. I am overly attached to Brendon Urie, the lead singer of Panic! At The Disco. I would give up anything to meet him. Although he is married, He will forever be my Husband. I LOVE HIM!
4. I don't think I want to be with anyone this year. I like the whole 'happily ever after' concept, I just rather be alone than broken,depressed,dumped, you name it!
And...
5. I am going to admit that I made TONS of mistakes that has changed everything . Everything starts changing once in a while. But you know what? I don't regret anything. So here's a big Fuck You to Life!
I just felt like doing this, I have no idea why though.. I'm going to continue doing my usual awkward stories.
Love,
A <3
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