Why does everything seem like a blur all of a sudden? Like, somehow the world has triggered and gathered, into one huge,releasing ticking bomb, as if we never know when we are about to explode in ecstasy,leaving all what we desired left behind.
I'm Sick. Not just the sniffles or fever, or anything that will cause me to rest but still breathe. I'm also sick, the metaphor type of sick. I'm sick of everything, if that's what I mean. As I type, I can seem to feel my fingers tapping the words I need to spell. The loud, cold, air in my room doesn't seem to help, but keeps the feelings going. I'm numb, and sad, and melodramatic. I may be describing all these words, but I can never seem to figure out how I'm feeling right now. No one can.
Maybe it just bothers me that every single living person on the planet thinks life as just a funny little joke. It just takes them to actually live it so they can realize they might be wrong..Maybe I have just over-lived my life a little too much than I needed. Maybe, I just need to stop everything.
Someone I know was right, you know? I am apparently special than everyone else is. I used to be so easy to crack, all it takes is fulfilling the pain inside my soul. Now, to be completely honest, I'm insane. I don't know why people even interact with me, how they even cope with my inner insanity.
I also don't know why not just love hurts, but..everything has got to hurt in the end. People say that when we die, everything will be okay. What if those people were wrong? What if as we die, whether slow or fast, we realize that all we wanted, was something that we will never even have? What if we can never seem to get what we want in this terrible world?
I don't know what to do right now. I think I should personally change "A" into "Insane", considering I'm more of a monster than a shadow. I don't know if this "Insane" demon will ever go away. I may be breathing fine, but..I already seem dead. I just want someone to take all this pain away from me, but it's not even possible. You want to know why, Strangers? Because all everyone does to me, is destroy every good part of me in the end. I just can't never tell when the end will start.
Well..I guess you guys will think that I will see you all soon. It all just depends on if there will ever be a new post.
Bye. Love,
I don't know who the fuck I am anymore.
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