I noticed that ever since I started writing this blog, I only mentioned "the biggest douchebag I have ever met" in my first post. To be honest, I was afraid to talk about him. Might as well talk about the guy now than never. Not only was he a douchebag, he was the guy who started all of my terrible, sucky problems. He was my first love, the one who broke my heart the most..even though I never even had him.
I am going to call him "Charming", because that's what he was. A really charming, nice, guy. We had know each other for a long time, mostly in the same class at school. Although we were complete opposites (He was a complete jock and I was a ugly duckling.), opposites attract right? We were together like peanut butter and jelly. All the girls wanted him but suddenly he was always there for me, no matter what. He was the only guy who understand every little fucked up thing about me and loved it. I thought we were going to be friends until the end, maybe even more.
I was really wrong. He left me, alone. I didn't really know what to do anymore, everyday I just looked out the front door and think he would come back. But, he never did. Those years without him were by far the worst. I cracked my shell and my life turned into hell. I really wanted him in my arms again. I struggled to turn into myself again, I even tried talking to other guys. But, Charming was different.
Years later, we reunited..well..not exactly. Now, I see him sometimes in the hallways, with him and his asshole friends. We both glance at each other, but then continue living our lifes. Everyone told me that Charming turned into one of them. I guess you can say it's true. But, I know deep inside, he is the same guy I fell in love with. And Although I think of him as a huge douchebag, deep inside I still wonder if someday, he will come back to me and be with me forever. I don't ever think he will.
Love,
A
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